Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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