i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
