I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
