dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize