i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
