I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
