McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
