You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
