We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
