so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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