He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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