I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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