I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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