The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Fuck me I smell like cheese
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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