I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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