If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
