some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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