I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
