That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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