you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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