Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
