Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
