Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
