dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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