walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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