Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Randomize
