What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
