If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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