we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
