Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
