I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
