Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
