I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
