Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize