D3 body, D1 cock
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
