All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
