i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
