all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Can you bring me the toilet please
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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