she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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