I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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