Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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