where am i from again
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize