I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
