"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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