It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
