just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
she woke up with a sticky ear
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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