imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
