is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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