Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
