ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
