Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
