Please, let me fuck your mom
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
