You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
whose parrot is this?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
