i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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