Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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