so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize