It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
