He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize