you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
